Cookie Monster Runs for Office


Moderator: Cookie Monster, you are on record as liking cookies. How do you respond?

Cookie Monster: Lots of people like cookies. Oscar the Grouch, Big Bird, Elmo even. Bert AND Ernie. Gordon bakes in his free time.

Moderator: Your name IS Cookie Monster

CM: I resent the implication.


Moderator: You support cookies.

CMr: Never.

Moderator: Multiple times on Sesame Street you are on camera, eating cookies.

CM: I ate ice cream that night on 5th avenue. I ate candy in Queens. I had pie in Hoboken.


Moderator: You have said that the rise of cake is a threat to our very way of life. How would you defeat cake?

CM: My opponent founded cake. She founded it. She’s the Cake Creator.

M: So you do support cookies?

CM: Look, my opponent eats cake. On her birthday even.

M: You are excitable when it comes to cookies. Would you agree?

CM: Some milk would be nice.


Moderator: You have called your opponent “Ms. Piggy” in the past.

CM: Well, that is her name.

M: Does Kermit know what you have said about her?

CM: Kermit’s a very good friend of mine. A fantastic frog.

M: You have said Ms. Piggy doesn’t have the look for office.

CM: I never said that.

M: Well—

CM: She doesn’t have the dexterity. You need dexterity, she doesn’t have it.

M: How so?

CM: Look at all these cookies I can hold! (Looks down at cookies) Shit.

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