Cookie Monster Runs for Office

cookie-monster

Moderator: Cookie Monster, you are on record as liking cookies. How do you respond?

Cookie Monster: Lots of people like cookies. Oscar the Grouch, Big Bird, Elmo even. Bert AND Ernie. Gordon bakes in his free time.


Moderator: Your name IS Cookie Monster


CM: I resent the implication.

#


Moderator: You support cookies.


CMr: Never.


Moderator: Multiple times on Sesame Street you are on camera, eating cookies.


CM: I ate ice cream that night on 5th avenue. I ate candy in Queens. I had pie in Hoboken.

#


Moderator: You have said that the rise of cake is a threat to our very way of life. How would you defeat cake?


CM: My opponent founded cake. She founded it. She’s the Cake Creator.


M: So you do support cookies?


CM: Look, my opponent eats cake. On her birthday even.


M: You are excitable when it comes to cookies. Would you agree?


CM: Some milk would be nice.

#


Moderator: You have called your opponent “Ms. Piggy” in the past.


CM: Well, that is her name.


M: Does Kermit know what you have said about her?


CM: Kermit’s a very good friend of mine. A fantastic frog.


M: You have said Ms. Piggy doesn’t have the look for office.


CM: I never said that.


M: Well—


CM: She doesn’t have the dexterity. You need dexterity, she doesn’t have it.


M: How so?


CM: Look at all these cookies I can hold! (Looks down at cookies) Shit.


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