Moderator: Cookie Monster, you are on record as liking cookies. How do you respond?
Cookie Monster: Lots of people like cookies. Oscar the Grouch, Big Bird, Elmo even. Bert AND Ernie. Gordon bakes in his free time.
Moderator: Your name IS Cookie Monster
CM: I resent the implication.
Moderator: You support cookies.
Moderator: Multiple times on Sesame Street you are on camera, eating cookies.
CM: I ate ice cream that night on 5th avenue. I ate candy in Queens. I had pie in Hoboken.
Moderator: You have said that the rise of cake is a threat to our very way of life. How would you defeat cake?
CM: My opponent founded cake. She founded it. She’s the Cake Creator.
M: So you do support cookies?
CM: Look, my opponent eats cake. On her birthday even.
M: You are excitable when it comes to cookies. Would you agree?
CM: Some milk would be nice.
Moderator: You have called your opponent “Ms. Piggy” in the past.
CM: Well, that is her name.
M: Does Kermit know what you have said about her?
CM: Kermit’s a very good friend of mine. A fantastic frog.
M: You have said Ms. Piggy doesn’t have the look for office.
CM: I never said that.
CM: She doesn’t have the dexterity. You need dexterity, she doesn’t have it.
M: How so?
CM: Look at all these cookies I can hold! (Looks down at cookies) Shit.